Ah, ha! So, that Chinese S.W.A.T. team we caught ridin' dirty on Segways earlier this week actually had a reason to be carrying on like they were -- they were performing anti-terrorist drills in preparation for security during the 2008 Olympic Games in Beijing. Comically enough, the drill was said to be one of "rapid deployment," though we aren't told how many spills were taken when officers tried to actually maneuver one of these things around, aim at a target, pull a brown bag down around their head and keep it from spontaneously reversing. Just one question guys: what's with the tiny guns?

[Via CNET]

Josh T: "Stop! Step out of the vehicle and agree to be my friend."
Don: "Don't make me lean forward and come over there."
Chris: "Do it... do it now! Get to the human transportah!"
Josh F: "Snake? Snake?! SNAAAAAKE!"
Ryan: "Watch yourself, Frank, we're dealing with professionals. They've got a... car."
Darren: "So, um, is it safe to back away from this vehicle?"
Richard: "Yes, this would be more intimidating from a Humvee, but y'know, gas prices these days..."
Nilay: "Put the Roomba down!"
Thomas: "Quit calling me Ginger, I'm a day walker!"

[Thanks, Mike]

Consider yourselves fortunate. You've had well over two whole months without an episode of Crapgadget, but today, that grace period ends. The most recent laughable load includes an absolutely vile wristwatch that supposedly plays MP3s / MP4s if you can manage to glance away from the bezel and band. Furthermore, we've got a TV tuner and webcam -- in one -- alongside a way-too-expensive WiFi sniffing pen that doesn't do 802.11n. Bringing up the rear is Connectland's 180° X2 Revolving USB Hub, which clearly raises the bar in USB hub design stupidity. Per usual, we're begging for your vote on the crappiest below, but we'll understand if you just can't bear the thought of spending another moment thinking about these pitiful creations.

Chalk this one up as just another rumor for now, but whispers around the Chinese web have it that China Unicom could be netting Apple's latest handset (yeah, that 3G one) this August. If you'll recall, Steve had issues in the past getting Chinese carriers to buy into his demanding revenue sharing model, but now that those days are gone, we suspect talks may go a little smoother. And c'mon, Apple didn't add in Chinese character recognition for kicks and giggles, now did it? As of now, China Mobile has yet to make a peep on the rumblings, but we've only got a few months before finding out either way.

[Via IntoMobile]

Yes, it's hard to believe, but we assure you there were no special effects used to create this image. Here's beloved action movie star Jackie Chan once again doing his own stunts -- the most embarrassing one he's ever done. Believe it or not, he says these are hard to sell in China.

Josh T: "Police Story 5: Loser Cop"
Paul: "In his next film, Jackie Chan will pose exactly zero threat to anyone at all."
Ryan: "This, Jackie Chan, is your punishment for 'The Tuxedo.'"
Chris: "Jackie Chan avoids Rush Hour 4 thanks to his trusty Segway."
Josh F: "Legend of Drunken Decisions"
Thomas: "Enter the Dragon, exit the nerd"
Jackie Chan: "Don't try to be like Jackie. There is only one Jackie. Study computers instead." (Seriously, he said that!)

Remember when Samsung was pumping out cameraphones with increasingly ridiculous megapixel counts? At the moment, phones top-out at about 5 megapixels. Until this, the 8 megapixel C280 with 3x optical zoom and claimed 1600 ISO support (right) from the previously unheard of K-Touch. Ironically, it might very well be using a CMOS sensor from Samsung. Perhaps more interesting though is the fact that it'll be using Canon's own DIGIC III image processing when it hits the Chinese market.

This just in: don't believe anything you hear regarding an official 3G rollout date in China. After quite a bit of rigmarole, the Chinese government has finally announced that it will issue a trio of 3G licenses. Notably, the announcement comes with a bit of baggage -- it's also calling for a merger between China Unicom and Netcom, two of its four biggest telecommunications providers. Furthermore, it stated that it would call on China Telecom, the nation's largest fixed-line carrier, to "purchase Unicom's CDMA network," all leading to a massive shuffle that should position three of the nation's telecom juggernauts to eventually offer high-speed wireless to a staggering 1.3 billion people. Unfortunately (though not unexpectedly), there's no time frame given for implementation, but some analysts are asserting that "a full launch of 3G services is [still] years away." Baby steps are better than no steps, we reckon.

[Thanks, James]

The Vii (or Vii 2, for that matter) not really providing all the satisfaction you were craving when you first acquired it? Don't hang your head in shame, dear boy, there's another option for you yet! China Shenzhen Firstsing Company Limited, the same company who provided the totally unnecessary cooling fan for the actual Wii, has produced a 7-in-1 gaming console that -- from here, at least -- looks unbelievably similar to Nintendo's latest machine. Still, this rig provides mind-melting 16-bit graphics, sports games that are "similar to those on the Wii, but more cheaper," a wireless gamepad, a battery-powered designed (uh...) and a sweet gift box just in case you're showering someone with kindness pranking your cubicle-mate. We're not even going to touch the pricing issue, and trust us, neither should you.

[Via Zumo Blog, thanks Henrique]

Screen shots posted on Chinese site wretch.cc allege that iPhone firmware 2.0 has added support for Chinese handwriting recognition in addition to a revamped (albeit non-recognition) Japanese interface. While that's still light years from an Apple admission that not everyone is in love with the on-screen keyboard, it's one small step toward functionality that seems to make boatloads of sense -- in any language -- given the phone's generously proportioned touchscreen and its reluctant but unavoidable nomination as the Newton's spiritual successor. What isn't clear is how folks are expected to draw characters, seeing how there's no provision for an on-board stylus, the entire interface is designed for finger use, and we don't see many owner rushing out for a Pogo. However Apple intends for this feature to be used, the implementation looks pretty hot, capable of operating in both portrait and landscape modes. Sadly, it seems that Chinese is the one and only language supported at the moment; sure you don't want to let everyone in on the Graffiti-esque retro fun here, guys?

[Via Mac Rumors]

For Newman, it wasn't enough to knock off an iPod nano from years past. Oh no, it had to replace Apple's iconic click-wheel with a prominent "N" on its MOMO-X2, just so it's absolutely clear what PMP is being aped. In all seriousness, we reckon that letter has more to do with the company's name than anything else, but it's fun to pretend every now and then. On to specs, you'll find a 1.5-inch display (176 x 132 resolution), a still-very-familiar opaque white / chrome motif, support for MP3 / WMA files, Microsoft's PlayFX capabilities, a FM tuner, text / photo viewer, USB 2.0 connectivity and 2GB of internal storage space. On paper, we'd say that's not too shabby for 399CNY ($57), but the street cred you'd lose from toting this around would be far, far more costly.

[Via PMPToday]

Okay, so SZ Telstar's MP4-963FR isn't exactly like Motorola's ROKR E8, but that horseshoe-styled power button sure is eerily familiar, isn't it? Outside of that, this me-too PMP exemplifies vanilla, sporting just a 2.4-inch LCD, FM tuner, eight equalizer presets, a few built-in games, a text viewer and support for MP3, MPEG4 and XviD file formats. Seems you'll have to do some digging to find out a price, but really, you're probably better off leaving well enough alone.

[Via PMPToday]

Sure, there's a clip-on display for gaming on-the-go made for basically every console out there, but for whatever reason, Sony's PlayStation 3 just doesn't lend itself to being the perfect candidate the way Nintendo's Wii does. Who knows, maybe it's that curvaceous design or something. Anyway, Clearvision is hoping that you don't much care how unsightly your console becomes when strapping its PS3 gaming monitor on, which adds a 7-inch LCD, a pair of speakers and little else. Unfortunately for those actually interested in picking one up, it seems you'll have to put in an inquiry with one Shenzhen Madcow Digital Technology Co., Ltd. Good luck with that.

[Via Engadget Spanish]

If you've exhausted all of your resources and still can't seem to whip up your very own Wii Laptop, Chinavasion's out to make sure you have the second (albeit a distant one) best alternative. Granted, the CVSN-901 isn't the first of its breed, but it does provide a marginally less unsightly design. As for specs, you'll find a 7-inch 480 x 234 resolution display, built-in stereo speakers, auxiliary stereo AV connection, adjustments for contrast / brightness / etc. and a fan grill hole thrown in just to ensure that "your Wii won't overheat." For what it's worth, it seems the requisite IR emitters are sitting just above the speakers (though it's not spelled out on the product page), and at least the unit itself will only set you back a Benjamin and change (or way less if you order enough for your entire community).

[Via Coolest-Gadgets]

Shamelessly attempting to rip off a plethora of yesteryear's gaming handhelds all at once isn't a new trick or anything, but you'd expect the creators of the Cool Boy to at least conjure up a name with some inkling of originality, right? Nevertheless, the portable, um, system features a 2.4-inch color display, gets juiced from a trio of AAA cells and even includes a video out port for taking the sweet handheld action to the 13-inch CRT. Of course, the thing only works with Cool Boy Mega Pack game cartridges, which means that even the homebrew crowd is likely out of luck here. But hey, you can get 120 sure-to-be-riveting titles in a single cart for just $7.99. Any takers? Anyone? Okay.

[Via Coolest-Gadgets]

Yeah, Cin King has been tickling people's fancy for a small while now, but with a lineup consisting of the Slim Jim, Full Power Flagship, Naked Wonder and Circular 360, how could we not pass this along? Barring some sort of miracle, it's safe to assume that all of these motorcars are patently fake, but that doesn't mean you can't get a laugh out of such a cleverly designed website meant to showcase the whole family, right? Go on, you know you can't wait to read more about "the first electric car with diesel drive," a compact with twin turbines, anything codenamed "Naked Wonder," and a round-mobile ripped straight out of 2184 (or an obscure episode of The Jetsons). 'Tis a shame these aren't anywhere near production -- they'd go over so well in America.

[Via AutoblogGreen]